Not exactly Nine and a Half Weeks

When I was on holiday recently I thought it would be fun to get a bit steamy with my girlfriend and asked our hotel owner for some ice cubes so I could give her an icey surprise kiss. He wasn’t very impressed but went to the freezer and scraped out some ice from the back wall next to some pork chops and put it in a bag.  I was a bit dubious about the hygiene factor but when I got back to the room I was too carried away and popped it in my mouth and gave my girlfriend a kiss – she seemed to like it and it was pretty fun, until about two hours later, when we both got explosive diarrhoea.